Sunday, May 22, 2016

Im no good at being an asshole; Bikers, Fires, Floods, Lava, and ephemerality



5/21/16
Before sunset James and I took a stroll down the hieroglyphs and petroglyphs.  The ancient road signs by which modern people are so fascinated.  “The glyphs functioned as road signs to indicate everything from danger, water, and food resources.” Read one of the signs posted, about the ancient signs.  I wondered if thousands of years from now, after all of the planets resources had run out or a meteor had struck and the human population became scarcer, if people would be marveling at the yield signs on the side of the road.  “No.” I thought, these are a synthesis of art and communication.  I wondered how the people that made them would have felt.  Here I was thousands of years later.  Their ideas and emotions still as fresh and communicative as the day they had carved them, and me sitting here wondering over them.  It is a unique ability, I thought, that humans have to communicate with their future.  Most animals do not have it.

09:00 we started our morning where we ended our day yesterday.  The Horse Thief Lake are of Columbia Hills State park.  The RV Park was poorly planned out.  The fire rings were very close to the parking spaces.  My neighbor, thank goodness, did not decide to have a fire at night.  This would have been problematic, but only if I had not wanted my driver’s side front tire to be melted.  The park was loud due to the closeness of the spaces.  The custom of Christmas lights on RV’s seems to have caught on, and the couple in the trailer next to me had theirs on full blast all night.  They are pretty, and I like Christmas lights, but just not right outside my bedroom window.  The couple had two large pit bulls, and they were vocal all night.  Fortunately the husband spent the better part of the night attempting to calm them down by yelling at them loudly to “shut up!”  Much to my surprise James did not even make a peep! 

In the morning my neighbor and her husband had an argument at about 0730.  I was already awake, my compulsion to check my stock prices seems to never turn off.  Even though it is the week end, and the market is not open.  He wanted to go hike, but she wanted to stay there.  “It’s too fucking windy to hike….” She said.  I phased out and read some of my Tich Naht Han book, and a page of the constitutional law book my grams gave me.  Soon the husband was loading one of their two dogs loudly in to the truck, and away he went.  Good for him, I thought.  Seemed like he needed some alone time.

John, the overly exuberant camp hose, who it turned out was from the same town as me, let me know that he had an opening.  When I arrived in the evening he told me that there would only be room for1 night.  I think he half expected me to be angry.  The look on his face when I said I was just happy to have someone to stop was that of relief.  I did not envy that part of his job, though I often find myself imagining what owning and operating an RV park would be like.  The night was $35 with full hook ups.  Too rich for my blood, I thought, as I politely declined a second night.  I did a quick recon run with the jeep, and found a nice place to hike up the road at the main entrance of Columbia Hills State Park.  We went back to the bus, hitched up, and away we rambled.  


The pea gravel crunched under my feet as I hiked up the steep grade.  To the south horse thief butte was quite a prominent land mark.  I had climbed it before with a friend, but from the top it was hard to appreciate its full size.  The sheer walls plunged downward, the top capped with tall grasses rippling in the gentle breeze.  The hike upwards to the top of the hill was interesting.  The ecology had undergone serious changes since the last big wild fire.  The sage brush had all but been scoured out of the valleys and off of the hill sides.  The grasses and wild flowers had reclaimed the area and had opened up to put on quite the elegant show.  A phantasmagoria of reds, yellows, whites, blues and greens were a welcome sight.  I have been to the high desert many times, but rarely have I visited it in the spring, or in the early summer before the sun has baked the moisture from the soil and the life from the plants. 

Nature is so skilled at being.  The grass, and the flowers rise from the pot ash, even in the austere conditions rendered in the high desert, and on the rocky mesa tops.  The oaks, some badly charred but still standing by the creek, had already re grown their burnt foliage.  I wondered at what the fire must have been like.  I had been to many fires.  I remembered my first initial attack work detail on the Wild land fire crews.  Nostalgia can be such a sweet seasoning for the memory.  That was another life.  A distant memory of smoke, flames, and a high desert mesa top.  I dug fire line in the clear starry night sky of august, after a lightning storm had passed dropping no water.




As we hiked the hills, I thought about the great floods that had swept the gorge thousands of years ago when the glacial dam had in Montana had failed.  The Clark Fork section of the Columbia had been blocked then, creating a vast inland lake in what is now Helena Montana.  Time after time the glacial ice dammed the river, and time after time it failed.  Flood after flood scoured the Columbia River gorge.  Carving the rocky cliffs and mesa tops that make up the gorge today.  Before that the Fissure basalt flow had opened in eastern Oregon and Washington and burned the land all the way to the ocean.  The columnar basalt, and the igneous basalt had found the low spot then, which was still the river bed.  All life must have been destroyed.  Scorched to a cinder.  The water flowed, and carved its way through the stone.  Life started again.  The ice age came.  The glacial dam burst, life was again scoured from the river, and for hundreds of miles around.  Life started again.  Here I was several millennia later, contemplating a ‘disaster’ which was already rebuilding its self. 

James strained at the leash, as a turkey ran across the path.  We walked slowly ahead, and the bird flew over us its wings spread wide in the sunlight.  I can see why Ben Franklin had wanted the Turkey to be the national bird for the US.  It was quite majestic perched on a high branch, chirping as it looked down on us as we passed by.  

The hike came to an end at a hill top at about 1,000ft.  We looked down upon Horse Thief Butte, it was a sight to behold. We began our descent as a hiking group, chattered happily on their way up the trail.  Several prairie dogs scattered as they passed borough nestled amongst the hillside. 

I made a lunch of PBJ, and pears. James snubbed his dog food, and went to put in his bed.  He only likes hot dog food with bacon.  We headed up the road to Stone Henge.

13:00 “Do you have a pair of jumper cables?” the hunched man with a lazy eye and scruffy facial hair, who looked and sounded a bit like Festus off of the old T.V. show Gunsmoke asked me as he approached my drivers side window.  It took me a while to place his accent, and then I saw his license plate, Idaho.  The parking lot was almost impossible to turn around in.  Apparently the people visiting the Marry Hill museum today were not literate, or just did not give a shit and lick about parking in places they were not supposed to.  The lanes designated for RV’s and tour busses were full of parked cars.  I was grateful to be able to turn around, since I could not back up with the jeep on the bus without bending the tow hitch.  I threaded the needle and was heading out when Festus approached me.  I had taken a wrong turn.  Trying to get to the Stone Henge monument.

I try to “never do the right thing, but not do the wrong thing either.”  It’s a moto I have.  It comes from the children’s story ‘If You Give a Mouse a Cookie.’  In the story if you give a mouse a cookie, it asks for a glass of milk, then if you give it a glass of milk, it asks for a blanket, if you give it a blanket it asks for a bed….and so on and so forth.  I am a cynic. I try not to be, but it’s easy, and I suppose maybe I enjoy it.  

I went against my instincts and said “No, but I can do you one better.  I have a jumper box.  That’s way easier than cables.”  Festus was relieved.  Despite the parking lot being packed, and maybe because of his gruff appearance, no one had helped him.  I parked the bus in the middle of the exit lane, maybe I could help people learn patience.  After viewing art on a rainy Saturday afternoon, it would be a good exercise in mindfulness for them.  I got out, and got the jumper box out of the basement compartment.  In no time at all we had the car started.  To say the cables were corroded would be an understatement.  The copper of the terminal had changed from shiny gold to dingy green, and an afro of corrosion was growing from what was left of the battery post.  “Man, you need a wire brush, or a cable cleaner.” I said. “Yeah.” Festus said, in his strange Idahoan accent.  “Where in Idaho are you from?” I asked, “The people in northern Idaho are nice, not at all like the people around here.  People around here can be real assholes.” I said.  Festus smiled, “I noticed that when I tried to get people to help jump start my car.”  His wife and children were looking out the windows at us jawing away.  “Were from Boise.  We brought my mom here because she wanted to see the museum.”  “Well.” I said, “Not everyone around here is an asshole. I don’t have a battery terminal cleaner, but I have a copper brush.” I said, as I opened my basement door and pulled a brush from my tool cabinet.  “Oh, no thanks.” He said “I’ll go to an auto parts store.  That terminal needs replaced” As he opened his door his wife shoved a $20 bill at him.  He tried to hand it to me.  I waved it off.  “It’s not being nice if you get paid for it.” I said. “Have a great rest of your trip sir.”  I’m no good at being an asshole.


Eccentric? Maybe. After all, who would build a complete full scale replica of stone henge, back when hard surfaced roads were new technology? Samuel Hill was a cattle baron in the early 1900’s boasting over 6,000 acres of land upon his death.  He served in WWI and returned home a changed man by the horrors of war.  Building the monument, to honor his friends who died in the war, in the hopes that the nightmares they had lived would not befall future generations.  He also built a museum dedicated to his wife, full of priceless works of art, it still stands open to the public.  I over shot and missed the turn.  I went to the town of Biggs Junction and re filled with diesel.  Returning to the monument and winding down a long two lane road out to the point on which it stood I saw a tremendous gathering of motor cycles, both filling the monument its self, as well as the parking lot.

The Outsiders a bikers club from Tacoma Washington was having lunch, and listening to loud music in the parking lot.  There were about 75 of them in all.  Each on their own bike, some with women on the back.  It was a tight fit, but I was able to turn my bus around.  I found a place to park, and ate another pear.  I brewed a cup of tea and went for a walk, leaving James to put in his kennel.  I came back and we took a nap, waiting for the huge crowd to vacate.   

After they had gone, I took James out to see the monument.  I read the quotes on the monument, one by Sam Hill, and one by an anonymous person.  People had come so far, and yet here we were, still killing each other for nothing.  When I was young, I had thought that the monument was ‘cool’.  Now I saw it differently, the act of a dying man hoping that history would not repeat itself.  It was nice that fate spared him WWII and the rest of the wars since.  Sam’s tomb lies just south of the monument, in a small shrine. "After all of our civilization, the flower of humanity is still being sacrificed to the good of war on the fields of battle."
Samuel Hill

We Left the monument, and headed towards the fishing pull out that we had seen on the way to it.  We wound down the hill side switch backs, and towards the river bank.  There was plenty of space in the gravel parking lot, and we found a lovely spot to park with a view of the Columbia.  The army corps of engineers runs some great free campgrounds on the Columbia River.  There were many Native Americans fishing for salmon on the bank, and I realized that lots of them were living out of their cars.  As I walked James and read the sign post by the boat launch, I realized we were in a native fishing area.  This was a native fishing village.  They did not seem to care that we were there.  Most of them were smiling, and talking about their fishing with each other over horse cock sized (24oz) Coors light beers.  We are truly fortunate, I thought as James and I walked the river bank, watching the willows run their limbs through the water with the breeze.  I remembered the old Chris Farley skit from Saturday Night Live.  “IF YOU SCREW UP YOUR LIFE BY DOING DRUGS AND NOT GOING TO SCHOOL!”  His character proclaimed to a class of wide eyed grade school kids, “You know where you’ll end up? LIVI’N IN A VAN, DOWN BY THE RIVER!!!”  The children recoiled in fear.  Hmmm, I thought to myself.  Life might not be too bad living in a van, down by the river.




We had not been parked for more than an hour when someone knocked on our door.  I looked out cautiously, as always.  I opened the latch and James barked viciously! He would be more intimidating if he had regular dog legs, to match his regular dog body.  My older brother told me that it’s because they ran out of regular dog days on his manufacture date, so they just used whatever they had.  Hence, James has short little legs on his regular body.  “You got any gas I can buy man?” came the voice of a scab faced 20ish year old wearing a flat brimmed hat and basketball shorts.  Standing to the left of my door h opened it a crack, “no.” I said, “I had one that I used to use for my generator, but it’s gone now.” It was not a lie, I had put the last gallon can of gasoline I had in to dads riding lawn mower a few days ago.  “Sorry I can’t be of more help.” I said.  As he walked away I thought about siphoning some gasoline out of my generator for him.  He walked off to the next camper.  I settled in for some reading, enjoying the luminescent silver shimmer of the moon on the river.  The price of the camp site was the one I liked, free.

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